yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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