I'm gonna have a badass scar
Where is the hickey?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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