a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
