You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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