he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I currently don't understand fingers.
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