Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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