in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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