Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
