what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
