i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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