If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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