she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my poor anus
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize