This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
