I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
