yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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