Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just pynch a tree in the face
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
