My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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