I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My bed smells like the plague
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
