So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We need to rekindle our bromance
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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