If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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