First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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