She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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