I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
