During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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