the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize