Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
