she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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