He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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