My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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