im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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