Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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