I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize