It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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