we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
