Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i drank out of a bidet.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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