FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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