if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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