xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
