I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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