i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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