tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
