It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
