People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
