census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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