Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just had sex on a roof
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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