I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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