Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
