Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize