Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
