Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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