You really coming over, don't trick.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
