Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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