We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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