you guys were way drunker than both of me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
