Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
then he tried to convert me to islam
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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